A Virgin State of Mind
by mochalopez
Summary: Buffy's back! But she came back wrong and now she's out to exact revenge and get her soul back! The sequel to Wild Horses!
1. The Reality

...:: The Reality ::...  
  
It had been almost ten years since her death, but Haldir still missed  
her terribly. He could remember every detail about the day that she  
died. How she looked so helpless... her every thought which he thought  
maybe would be the sadness of her song played, the beauty of her  
sorrow etched forever deep within the lines of her skin. The tears she  
didn't have the chance to cry, all of this remained fresh in his mind.  
And it was his realization that he would never have her again and  
would never find another like her. She was one in a million.  
After her death, Legolas sailed to Valinor with Gimli. There was  
nothing more for him to live for either, apparently. So, as it was,  
Gimli and Legolas spent there days happily rested on the Undying  
Lands. So many of the elves had made their way to Valinor that few now  
remained in Middle-Earth. Only most of the Galadhrim and some from the  
old kingdoms; everyone had had a choice to leave or stay. It was  
Haldir's choice to stay incase Buffy were to come back. But, waiting  
ten years, Haldir realized now, that she would never.  
Rumil and Orophin watched their hopeless brother stagger around,  
getting ready for the patrol and helping the group get their stuff in  
order. "Orophin, does it seem strange to you that our brother did not  
take that ship to Valinor ten years ago? You know, so he could get  
away from all of this?" Orophin was strapping his gear down in his  
pack when Rumil had said this, but he stopped to answer his brother.  
"When you are in love with someone that much and he or she dies, it  
takes a long time to heal." Rumil glanced over at his brother sadly.  
"I wish that he could just find peace." Orophin nodded and continued  
tying his pack together. "As do I, but the healing cannot be rushed."  
The patrol set out, Haldir behind everyone making sure that  
nothing was missed. Once they hiked up to their first mounting point  
Haldir broke everyone off into teams for patrolling. "Alright. Rumil,  
you take Gorgamin, Chauce, and Reexamine. Orophin, you take Yavieba,  
Shellac, and Faradome. The rest of you, with me." They broke off into  
their groups and prepared to camp until morning when they would  
continue on with their patrols. All but Haldir could be seen at the  
campfire that night discussing the old days. Haldir would have loved  
to be able to sit there and not feel a terrible sadness, but that was  
indeed, impossible. So he went to sit up on the hilltop watching over  
them and listening to it all.  
"Do you remember that one time we came across that town with  
those men who were in love with us? Do you think they will still be  
there?" Reexamine jabbed Shellac. "Every patrol you ask that same  
question and every time we answer, 'Yes, Shellac, they will still be  
there.' Why do you even bother to ask?" Shellac's face turned pink as  
everyone laughed at the statement. "It is only because I am curious,  
Reexamine. At least, I don't enjoy their company." More laughter.  
Reexamine, now, turned red. "I do not enjoy their company, Shellac!"  
Reexamine caught Shellac's head in a tight clamp and gave him a  
noogie. Rumil glanced up overhead at his brother who had a big smile  
on his face. It was infectious and he couldn't help but smile. Orophin  
was the one who ended the bashing and everyone went off into their own  
little area to sleep.  
That morning, the groups had taken leave to the appropriate  
towns with their group. Haldir led his into the nearby town, which was  
very dangerous considering that the men were especially cruel to the  
women here. He sent off two by their selves and he and Yenearsira went  
off together. "You must be very careful in this town Yenearsira." The  
young elf nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, Nikerym." Haldir looked  
around and noticed that the town was very quiet; a little too quiet  
for such a town. Haldir and Yenearsira approached what appeared to be  
a barn and was shocked by the amount of yelling he could hear. He did  
not open the door though; because it was only the two of them he did  
not want to get anyone killed. He and Yenearsira went to seek back the  
other two and then they proceeded to open the doors.  
Shocked yet again, Haldir looked around at the room, letting  
sink in every detail. Hundreds of men and women were yelling and  
screaming to something that was in the middle of the crowd. Haldir  
made signals for the others to circulate around and find out what was  
going on. He, himself, walked around a bit, trying to get a glance at  
the middle. He came up to a small man and tapped lightly on his  
shoulder. "Sir, might you be able to tell me what is going on?" The  
man nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes of course!" The man pointed to the  
middle and made room so that Haldir could see that there was a girl  
laying there taking a beating. "Why are you beating that girl so?"  
Haldir asked urgently. "She's a whore and a witch!"  
"What? What has she done?" A few more men turned in his  
direction to express their anger about that girl. "She slept with  
every man in this town behind her husband's back and she put an  
illusion spell on all of us so we would not know she was married when  
we had sex with her! Kill the witch!" Haldir was disgusted with these  
people. How dare they blame their drunken stupor on this young girl.  
He realized that they might have raped her in that stupor and he knew  
he had to rescue her. Quickly, he plunged into the middle and picked  
the girl up in his arms. She coughed up blood and it landed on him,  
but he didn't care. The men all became silent as they watched and more  
elves jumped out and held their arrows at point so that if any  
attempted to stop their captain, they would be shot.  
Haldir stormed out of that barn with the girl in his arms. He  
led her to his horse and laid her on it. Leaning close so she could  
hear him, he whispered in her ear. "Do not fear us, we only want to  
help you." She made a grumbled sound as he place a blanket over her.  
The rest of his patrol team merged from the barn and followed him back  
to The Golden City.  
Haldir stood before the mirror image of his Lord and Lady, for  
they could not be with him in person because they were in Valinor.  
"Haldir, that was an honorable thing you have done." Haldir bowed his  
head to his Lady. "But we must ask you to keep watch of her and to  
protect her. Take her to Rivendell so she may heal in peace. It is too  
busy for her to heal properly here." Haldir bowed again. "Yes, my  
Lady." Lord Celeborn spoke now. "She is your responsibility now  
Haldir. Take good care not to loose her." Haldir bowed and then rose  
to bid the Lord and Lady farewell until next time. On his way out of  
Caradhas, he wondered how he was going to manage taking care of a  
human girl. This was going to be really uncomfortable for a while. 


	2. Full Moon

...:: Full Moon ::...  
  
Achaia opened her eyes meekly, not recognizing any of her  
surroundings. She could tell that she was in some type of tree house,  
and in it had ornate designed wood furniture. She couldn't tell if  
there was anyone else inside the room, like she. Sitting up quickly,  
she noticed even more lavish designed trinkets around the room. There  
was a beautifully designed robe hanging dully on the chair that was  
under the desk. A bow and it's arrows sat in the corner and three  
swords hung on the wall by the door. Now, Achaia was scared for her  
life; fearing that she had been kidnapped. But just when she started  
freaking out, an elf walked into the room holding a tray full of food.  
The aroma of cooked meat found its way to her and she took it in  
heavily. The elf sat it down in front of her and then went to grab a  
chair. She recognized the elf from somewhere before and she did not  
fear him.  
Haldir had been surprised to see that she had already woken up.  
The girl had been struggling the whole night and Haldir had had to run  
her to the healing talan instead of Rivendell. Bringing the chair in  
and placing it beside the bed, Haldir sat beside the girl, watching  
her eat. The girl smiled at him and he didn't even flinch or make a  
move to smile back. He just sat and watched her eat so quietly. Then  
the question arose in his mind. What was she called? "Are you with  
name?" The girl glanced at him halfheartedly, not wanting to let the  
food rest for even just a minute. "My... my name is Achaia." Haldir  
nodded. "Achaia, I am Haldir O' Lorien and this is my talan. You are  
welcome to stay here for as long as you'd like. My patrol and I  
rescued you from the men in your town, they were... beating you." Achaia  
didn't seem too surprised. "Yes, that's what they tend to do with the  
knowledge that they do not understand."  
"What do they not understand?" Ahcaia's brown eyes met his for a  
moment and she saw him turn away. This made her curious because she  
had never known someone of such elegance to turn their head from  
anyone. "How a witch struggles." That made the elf's head twist back  
in a hurry. "Witch?! So you did all of those things that they've  
said?" There was genuine shock within his eyes, Achaia had to hold  
back the laughter. "No. I did no such thing. They just don't  
understand me, so they beat me. It's a normal reaction." The elf shook  
his head. "You are a witch, then?" Achaia nodded and then continued  
eating.  
Later that night, Haldir stood on his balcony staring at the  
moon; it showed brightly down upon Lorien, beautifully. Achaia had  
fallen asleep hours ago and that's when Haldir had decided to take his  
leave. He had to leave. Looking away from the moons glare, his eyes  
shifted over to Buffy's grave. Fresh tears sprung to life as he moaned  
and grasped his mouth in his hand. "Now I am facing the rest of my  
life alone...." The tears dropped down to the ground and though to  
everyone else it didn't even make a sound, to Haldir it made a  
shattering noise. He looked away from her grave and turned his eyes  
back on the moon. It wasn't a shock that in the moon's face he saw the  
woman he loved smiling one last time. It was a beautiful moment.  
"Buffy...."  
"Who is Buffy?" Startled, Haldir twisted around to find Achaia  
behind him. "I don't mean to be nosing into something that is in none  
of my affair but I heard you weeping." Turning back around and placing  
his hand on the rail of the balcony, Haldir sighed. "You shouldn't be  
up this late... not in your condition." Achaia shrugged. "I feel well."  
Haldir closed his eyes, letting the last of his tears fall. Achaia  
placed a caring hand on Haldir's shoulder. "Why do you weep so?"  
Haldir turned around but didn't let her see his face. He pushed past  
her and went out the door for a walk. Achaia watched him walk down the  
dirt path and then decided to go back to bed.  
"Achaia, how have you been?" Rumil smiled at the young girl as  
she walked up the pathway with his younger brother, Orophin. "I am  
quite well... although...." Rumil frowned for a moment. "What is the  
problem? Hasn't my brother been an exceptional help?" Achaia nodded,  
but had a concerned look in her eyes. "Indeed.... But I get the feeling  
that something is bothering him. Always in the middle of the night he  
will go out onto the balcony and cry." Both Orophin and Rumil  
exchanged glances, but without not being noticed because as soon as  
they did this, Achaia was all over them. "What do you know?" Orophin  
opened his mouth to speak but Rumil hushed him quickly. "My wonderful  
Achaia, we cannot divulge that information." Achaia frowned but  
continued to implore. "Why not?" Rumil implored back. "Years ago...  
something happened to someone Haldir was very much in love with..."  
"Her name was Buffy and she was the daughter of Elrond... a Lord  
of the Elves. He is the Master of Rivendell. Anyway, she became a  
Galadhrim and we all loved her as if she was a part of our family and  
not a princess, but Haldir was in love with her. Well, I should say  
this... they were in love; a true love." Achaia still had a frown on her  
face but wanted to know more about the situation. "What happened to  
her?" Just as Rumil had opened his mouth to answer, Haldir came  
walking down the pathway waving happily. "'Quel re, my brothers and to  
my friend." Achaia glanced at Haldir and then to his two younger  
brothers. Rumil and Orophin both backed away silently and then shaped  
up and wished their brother a good day.  
Haldir and Achaia excused themselves away from Rumil and Orophin  
to go for a walk together. "Haldir, I have been meaning to talk to you  
about something that has been bothering me for the longest time."  
Haldir nodded and turned to her, smiling with only kindness. "Alright.  
Tell me." They continued walking, Achaia played with her fingers  
nervously. "Every night... well, I know that you go on the balcony and  
weep." Haldir's red light turned on immediately, he knew what she was  
getting at, yet he said nothing, only listened. "Your brothers told me  
of whom this great love of yours was. She sounds extraordinary. But...  
uh... where is she now?" Haldir stopped and Achaia immediately stopped  
with him. She could see that his entire manner had changed. Suddenly  
he became red in the face and she could see that he was very  
uncomfortable. He reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders.  
"Achaia, we all have our secrets and this is mine." Achaia nodded,  
embarrassed. "I understand... believe me, I do. I know you will come to  
me when you're ready... I think." Haldir's face contorted into some pain-  
stricken look she had never witnessed on him before and then he was  
gone like that and she was left looking down at the ground. Whoever  
this Buffy was, she had done some damage to this elf and Achaia was  
determined to make things right. 


	3. Burn

...:: Burn ::...  
(Lyrics for Achaia's spell is "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden)  
  
Achaia searched quietly and quickly through Haldir's belongings,  
looking for any clues that would give her some idea about who Buffy  
was. The ornately carved chest that Haldir kept in his talan held a  
lot of priceless things as well as stuff that must be worth a fortune.  
She kept finding beautiful belongings; a silver comb, which had a pink  
and white tiger lily on the top edge of it, a beautiful flask and in  
it a lovely smelling fragrance. "These must have belonged to the woman  
in his life." Achaia had been researching for weeks and weeks, she had  
nothing better to do. But besides that, she wanted to do something  
extra wonderful for the elf that saved her life, no questions asked.  
Suddenly, bells rang in her mind as she pulled out from underneath so  
much more beautiful belongings, a painted picture. She recognized  
Haldir in the picture immediately, but whom she didn't recognize was  
the woman who sat beside him smiling brightly. The woman was an elf,  
Achaia recognized, and she was immensely beautiful. She had blond hair  
at which length, Achaia could not tell; green eyes, fair skin, and the  
most beautiful smile anyone could ever possess.  
"Beautiful, isn't she?" Achaia whirled around to find Rumil standing  
behind her. Quickly, she placed the picture back inside the chest and  
closed it, then stood up. "I was just... uh..." Rumil gave her a  
reassuring smile, letting her know that he wasn't upset and he  
wouldn't tell his brother. "Do not fear, Achaia, I will not tell  
Haldir that you went through her things." Achaia slumped in relief but  
was on alert again because Rumil had given her a new clue. "Whose?"  
Again, another coy smile from him. "Buffy's." Achaia looked down at  
the chest. "She was very beautiful." Rumil nodded, staring at her  
deeply. "Yes.... She was the love of his life. The only one he let in.  
It's a shame that it ended the way it did... especially because of all  
they had to go through just to be with each other." She glanced back  
up at the Elven man before her. "What happened to her?"  
Haldir stood outside on the balcony listening up until this point. He  
knew about Achaia going through Buffy's belongings for the past couple  
of weeks. Walking into the talan, Rumil and Achaia turned their heads  
surprised to see him standing there. Haldir was close to tears but he  
knew it was the right time to tell this woman why he was so sad even  
after ten years. "She died in the great battle." He could tell that  
Achaia had suspected that. "So she was a warrior?" Haldir nodded.  
Rumil looked down and then swallowed deeply. "I shall take my leave.  
Tis really my brother's business to share." He turned and left them  
standing there in silence.  
"I can see that you loved her dearly." Haldir turned his head away,  
just stammering there. "I love her still." Achaia nodded,  
understanding and taking into clarity the pain she could see etched in  
Haldir's face and although he was to be beautiful and young for all  
eternity, he looked extremely old and dying. "What did Rumil mean by  
everything that you both did to be together?" Walking over to the  
chair in the corner, Haldir sat down and brought his face to his hand,  
rubbing his temples. "She had to sacrifice everything to be with me in  
the beginning because she was a princess and I, a mere Galadhrim. It  
was confusing for her because she wanted the love of her father above  
anything else. She was betrothed to Legolas, the Prince of Mirkwood  
and for a while, I believed that she was indeed going to go through  
with the marriage. But she didn't... Everyone found out our feelings for  
each other and it was then we were able to be together... the happiest  
day of my life. I loved her with every part of my soul... my being. Her  
loss is still fresh for me."  
Achaia had tears in her eyes with the visualization she had of Haldir  
and the woman she had seen in the picture with Haldir. Buffy.... She was  
in his arms, dying and Haldir's eyes were filled with tears that would  
and could never be quenched. "I... I'm sorry." She didn't know what else  
she could say. The loss of Buffy, even though she hadn't even known  
the princess, was now fresh for her as well. In response, Haldir waved  
a hand, silently weeping behind the shield of his hand. She knew she  
must do something to help Haldir deal with this.... Suddenly an idea  
popped up in her mind and Achaia's lips formed a sly smile. "I know  
just what to do." Even though the words came out in a whisper, Haldir  
heard them. "What?" Achaia quickly opted to change the subject.  
"Nothing." Walking over to the doorway, she opened it and then turned  
to give an explanation. "I'll be back soon, I just want to go for a  
walk." On her way out she picked up the picture of Haldir and Buffy.  
Out in the thick forest that was Lothlorien, Achaia stood in the  
clearing holding the picture she had taken from Haldir's talan. The  
moon was shining brightly down upon her, bidding her to do her will.  
"In my eyes, indisposed, undisguised. As no one knows hides the face,  
lies the snake: The Sun." A fire shot up from the ground and though it  
wasn't a huge burn-down-the-forest type of fire, it burn brightly and  
amazingly thick. Achaia looked at the picture with Buffy and Haldir.  
"In my disgrace, boiling heat. Summer stench beneath the black, the  
sky looks dead. Call my name and through the cream, I shall hear you  
scream." Tearing the picture in half, she held Haldir's half inside  
her hand tightly and then discarded Buffy's into the flames. "Black  
hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain? Black hole sun, won't  
you come? Won't you come?" The flames rose higher, turning a deeper  
red. "Stuttering... cold and damp, steal the warm wind, tired friend.  
Times are gone for honest men and sometimes far too long for snakes.  
In my shoes, a walking sleep and my youth, I pray to keep. Heaven send  
Hell away, no one sings like you anymore." The fire arose high over  
the trees, casting an eerie yellow light over the land until it lay  
bathed in ghostly day.  
Far through the trees, just below Haldir's balcony view, lay Buffy's  
grave. Deep under the ground, Buffy's body laid their, decaying,  
rotting. Suddenly, Buffy's rotted fingers winced and her hand gripped  
tight. "Black hole sun, won't you come? Won't you come?" A red mist  
swirled around Buffy, bringing her up and through the dirt. Her corpse  
floated along the way of the river, which separated Mirkwood and  
Lothlorien. "Come now." Still floating, it went through the forest  
once it reached the middle and floated through to where Achaia stood  
by the fire. Achaia's eyes widened as she saw the rotted corpse  
floating her way. Pulling out Haldir's half of the photograph, she  
studied it closely; looking at the way his eyes glittered in the  
presence of the woman he loved. "Haldir, come to the heart of the  
forest... come to your beloved."  
Haldir sat inside his bedroom, looking out at the moon in all its  
beauty. Achaia now knew the truth about what happened between Buffy  
and himself. He couldn't explain it, but somehow it felt as if now  
that she knew, everything would be right. Everything. Where was  
Achaia? She had been gone for almost an hour and it was getting pretty  
late. He stood and walked out onto the balcony, grasping the railing  
and staring out into the woods, for some reason he was drawn there  
tonight. Through the wind a whisper was carried. "Haldir... come to the  
heart of the forest... come to your beloved." Eyes widened, Haldir  
listened again but heard only sighing of the wind. Compelled to find  
out what was happening and why he was called, he set out for the heart  
of Lothlorien's vast forest.  
Achaia cast Haldir's picture back into her skirts so that it wouldn't  
fall into the fire. Buffy's body was now inside the fire but  
astonishingly enough it wasn't burning her flesh. Achaia didn't know  
what else to say! Everything was actually working and this had never  
happened before! "Buffy, please come back... come back to Middle-Earth.  
Your love is missed greatly." Buffy's body still stood straight up in  
the fire and although it was burning her flesh, it certainly wasn't  
creating more flesh. Achaia's hands dropped. This was it and the spell  
wasn't going to go any further. Disappointment reigned. Frustrated  
tears spilled and Achaia, again, grabbed and looked at Haldir's half  
of the picture. "I'm sorry, Haldir... sorry that I couldn't bring her  
back for you."  
Haldir walked directly through the woods, knowing his way easily. It  
was also easy because a red mist was guiding him to where it wanted  
him to be. This was very intriguing for Haldir because magical things  
like this had never happened without Buffy. Well, this was it! He  
reached the heart of the forest and saw a red fire blazing high in the  
night sky. "What...?" He edged closer, pushed by the red mist. He could  
hear it talking to him. "Here... I'm here...." Whispers! They were  
terribly confusing, Haldir didn't know what to do except do as they  
said.  
Entering the clearing, Haldir had a great view of the blazing fire and  
the person who had started it. He saw Achaia holding something in her  
hand and crying. "Achaia?" The woman turned her head quickly, not  
surprised that he was there but surprised that she knew he was going  
to be upset with her. She said nothing and Haldir turned his attention  
back on the fire. Inside the fire, he could see that a person was  
floating stiffly and upright in it. "Oh my..." There were no words to  
describe how scared Haldir was now. Achaia was practicing witchcraft  
and he was invited to witness! "Achaia... what is going on?!" The person  
in the fire turned her head to face Haldir, and he couldn't see any of  
the eyes or the nose... all had rotted away. The hair was blond with  
dirt in it, dirt and insects. It was ratty looking, frayed. The skin  
was blue, almost black looking. But there was one thing Haldir  
recognized. Around the corpses ring finger, a beautiful silver ring  
with a rare gem swirled in with the silver stood. The ring he had  
given to Buffy when they were able to be together. "Oh no... oh no!"  
Achaia could see the look of extreme horror on his face. It wasn't  
hard to see that he knew who was in the fire now. "Everything went  
well up until now. I'm sorry." She watched his eyes as the glossed  
over. He was just staring horridly at the decayed body of the woman he  
loved. "Make it stop!" Tears streamed down his fair skin. Achaia's  
voice came out cracked. "I can't!" Haldir turned to face the witch  
now. "What do you mean you can't?" Achaia looked back at the fire.  
"Once a spell is begun, it cannot be undone until it finds its  
finish." Haldir threw his hands up, frustrated. "Wonderful." The red  
mist that had led him to the clearing swirled around him, entangling  
him. It pushed him closer to the fire. Achaia noticed it and was  
excited again! The spell had decided to continue!  
Haldir now stood in front of the fire beside Achaia. The red mist  
wasn't satisfied just yet, it continued pulling Haldir up into the  
flames with Buffy's body. Buffy's arms reached out to grab a hold of  
Haldir, pulling him in with it. Haldir screamed, horrified. He was now  
inside the fire in the arms of Buffy's corpse. "Achaia! Do something!"  
Achaia raised her hands. "I already told you that I could not. Let the  
spell finish. Oh, and relax a little. This isn't evil magic, you're  
not going to die." Haldir was a little relieved to here that he wasn't  
going to be sacrificed for anything. The red mist rose through and  
around the fire. Haldir could only see flames for a moment, but it  
passed by him and he saw what Achaia was holding tightly in her hands.  
A picture of him! She tossed it into the flames.  
Haldir couldn't express how he felt at this exact moment, only that he  
wanted to get far away from this place... far away from this witch. The  
red mist engulfed the flames, and Haldir could only see flames again.  
He looked over beside him, where Buffy's body was and saw a gold mist  
circulating around her. Slowly, he could see that her body was  
rejuvenating itself. Her frayed, dirty, blond hair became what it once  
was; long, healthy, and shiny blond hair. Her green eyes rolled back  
into her head and her nose grew back. Her skin became fair again. The  
gold mist engulfed her, finishing its magic.  
It suddenly became dark as they were under the night stars now. Achaia  
stood above them, looking at the two laying beside each other. They  
look so good together, she thought. Both were unconscious. "We're even  
now." Achaia walked back to Lorien happy with the good she had just  
done.  
Haldir woke up, his head hurt badly. He noticed that the fire was gone  
and that he was now in the night. "Buffy!" He turned around quickly  
and was so glad to see that she was lying beside him, her eyes shut.  
Standing up, he picked her up in his arms. She was warm and that was  
such a good thing to know. "Buffy." Her eyes opened as he whispered  
her name. Looking around for a moment, she was disoriented. "Where am  
I?" She didn't know just yet whose arms she was in. Tossing and  
turning around in his arms, Buffy got frantic. "What? Where am I?"  
Haldir held her tightly, forcing her to be still. "Buffy, you're here  
now. You're back." Buffy turned her head, now seeing who was holding  
so tightly onto her. "Haldir?" A smile formed on her face. "Oh my God!  
I am so happy to see you!" She wrapped her arms around his neck,  
holding him close. Haldir set her down lightly and then wrapped his  
arms around her. "I am happy to see you..." 


	4. Darkness

...:: Darkness ::...

Returning to Lothlorien was a new experience in its own, Buffy noticed. She could remember the many times in her first life in which she had walked this path, but somehow it was different. She was different. Darkness lingered inside of her now, in a place where no darkness had lingered before. Everything was more lucid now... more discernible: both beautiful and unsightly in its own nature. Buffy could see every leaf, every speck of dirt on the ground, every seed in the equidistant of a flower. It was immensely intriguing and somehow she couldn't seem to take her focus off of it. Yet, something else also held her appeal: Haldir. In Heaven, she had missed him terribly. Not dealing with the fact that they were unable to be together, but simply the fact that his faith, everything he stood for, and his health were dwindling. He dwelled on her death and couldn't bring himself to move on. That was what had worried her the time she spent in Heaven. She couldn't imagine why she had come back now, why her time in Heaven had been taken away from her. Had she done something wrong? All sorts of questions loitered in her mind, polluting it so much that she was hardly able to distinct one thought from another. Buffy finally turned her gaze toward Haldir; once they reached the talan they shared.

There they two sat, pondering the mystery of each other until Buffy spoke. "How long have I been," she couldn't bring herself to say it. "Gone?"

A strange expression formed across Haldir's features; one she had never witnessed before. "Ten years, Buffy."

"Ten years.... That's an awful long time, Haldir." A peculiar feeling of affliction ran its course through her veins. She had missed so much time. Time she could have spent with Haldir. Time she could have had to form a family with him and to live a happy life. "What have I missed? What's happened since I've been gone?"

"Legolas and Gimli were among the last to sail to Valinor, the Undying Lands. It was not only I whom suffered a great loss, apparently, Legolas had suffered one too and he thought of nothing better to live for so he sent himself to those lands of peace. My brothers remain, for even though they know not that I know why; they stay because they don't want to leave without me. Your sister, Arwen, has married Aragorn and become Queen. They have two Elven children now. Not much remains for us, Elves now, the few who've remained here in Middle-Earth. Very much of the Elves have sailed off to Valinor and find happy endings. Only a few kingdoms remain now and the Galadhrim still find use in protecting the humans."

Buffy thought for a moment before she spoke. "How strange it is, that you've chosen to remain here in Lothlorien while most of our world has passed by you. Tell me, my darling, why is it that you've chosen to remain here?"

It was a simple answer. "You."

Over the days of Buffy's return, everyone had come to welcome her back with open arms. Her father had even returned to Lorien from Rivendell, shocked by the news but no doubtedly pleased that his first daughter had found her way back. Although to anyone else's eyes, Buffy appeared to be herself, Haldir could see that something about her demeanor had changed. At night, instead of sleeping, she would go out onto the balcony, sitting for hours before going to bed just staring up at the moon. During the day, she had become quite somber in her actions. When everyone gathered in the town caucus for the nightly dinner and drinking party, Buffy secluded herself beside a tree and watched. The second night of her return, her old friends had asked her to sing one of her old songs and that was the night Haldir first suspected that Buffy was not her usual self.

Haldir caught up with Achaia one night after the dinner. "Achaia! I've been searching everywhere for you."

Achaia smiled at the sight of her old friend and savior. "Nice to see you again, Haldir. You and I haven't spoken since... well, you know." She smiled innocently again, happy that she had this opportunity to see him.

"I wish I could say the same about you... but, I'm afraid that there is a matter in which needs much discussing."

Achaia's eyes implored his. This appeared to her as being something of great importance and of great urgency. "Well, what is it dear friend?"

Haldir thought carefully before he spoke. "Concerning my beloved, I have a few detailed questions." Haldir waited for her to give the answer and once she nodded, urging him to ask, he asked. "I am aware that she is not the Buffy I once knew. Could you explain to me if there is any possibility that Buffy could have come back... wrong?" He didn't want to say it but it was the only thing he could have said.

Achaia thought for a moment. "What do you mean, "wrong"? She is alive and well right? What could be wrong about her?"

Obviously, Achaia couldn't know how Buffy would be different from before because she hadn't known Buffy before she died. Haldir knew he must explain it to her. "Buffy doesn't behave the same way she used to. She used to be full of life, magic, and an enigma of surprises. She was this spontaneous and fun person who'd do something outlandish at the spur of the moment just for the fun of getting into some kind of trouble for it. Now she's none of these things... it's like something dark is apart of her now. Something that's holding her true nature back."

Achaia thought hard for a long moment. "Have you spoken to Buffy herself? Maybe if you ask her what's wrong, she'll tell you. I can't prevent every kink in every spell, Haldir. Magic is a being all its own that no one can tame, but simply conger in portions. I suppose if there is something inside or apart of Buffy now, soon we shall all bear witness to it. But do not fear, she shall been all right."

Achaia walked off into the night, leaving Haldir to think of these things for himself. He walked home in the dark and found the light in the talan was blazing brightly. Buffy was up there. But it was unusual for her to leave have a candle in use, or to have any light for that matter. Buffy usually sat in the dark on the balcony, but not tonight. No, tonight Buffy had a flame burning.

Haldir rushed up the latter and into the talan to find that Buffy had opened her chest and was sitting there, searching through the belongings that were hers. In one hand she held a couple of the letters she had written to herself in her diary and in the other, another painting which Achaia hadn't seen of her and Haldir together the day before the Battle of Middle-Earth. He could see tears streaking her fair cheeks and he knew right then that she also knew something was wrong with her. He wanted to comfort her so much, to let her know that she was loved no matter what. How she seemed incredibly innocent and childlike at that moment.

"Buffy...."

Haldir walked slowly toward her, not wanting to upset her more. She turned her head to face him, letting the letters fall in front of her kneeling form. "Is that I? Am I what I've always or used to have been?"

Sitting beside Buffy, Haldir wrapped his arms protectively around her. "Haldir, what is wrong with me? Am I broken? I cannot feel anything. I cannot feel you touching me now and I cannot feel any emotions that might've been shared betwixt us once before. There's nothing but blackness, Haldir. How can this be? Tell me how it came that I am this... thing? Am I a thing of evil?"

Haldir began to weep, for this was something he hadn't expected to be discussing with his beloved since she'd been back. "I've failed you terribly, Buffy. I should've impelled Achaia to stop but I wanted to hold you again. I am so sorry. I do not know how to aid you now."

Buffy moved his arms from around her and stood up, towering over him. "Who is this Achaia? I believe she has stolen my soul and I am going to retrieve it back."

Haldir watched Buffy leave; powerless to move from the spot he sat in. Buffy seemed more like something consumed with determination of finding Achaia and exacting her soul back.


End file.
